Introduction
Did you know that 100% of humans have been betrayed either though divorce, losing a job, jilted by a lover, abused or sexually assaulted? Been lied to, robbed or bullied? Did you also know that depression, thoughts of suicide, dis-ease in the body, weight issues and anxiety can be linked as a result of betrayal down to your core?
How many ways have you experienced betrayal? More than one? More than two? What about the emotions attached to betrayal….Do you feel abandoned, rejected or unloved? Grief stricken?...Shame? What other emotions do you secretly battle with, year after year? The truth is, all of this hurts.
How do you mask the pain? Do you wash it down with alcohol, trip out on drugs, stuff yourself with junk food …ease the pressure by cutting yourself? Or do you numb yourself while recklessly racking up your credit cards, buying stuff you don’t really need (but justify)…all in hopes of filling the empty space deep down inside your chest and gut?
I know what it feels like to be betrayed. Over and over. I understand what it does to the physical, mental and spiritual self. I understand wanting to commit suicide….To feel like the biggest mistake God ever created. Worthless. Filled with anger, rage, resentment and hatred…Feeling powerless. That’s how I lived every second, of every day of my life for over 50 years.
I know what it feels like to slug through the day feeling numb and detached…living from the ceiling, as if watching yourself from outside your body... Simply surviving and on guard for the next attack. For most of my life, I didn’t even understand that was how I felt. Why? Because of overwhelm and not knowing how to put feelings into words. Destructive emotions simply ran in the background of my nervous system, like a hidden computer virus…always eating away at me.
Through my story that you are about to read, you will witness how trauma effects the psyche, the body and spirit. You will also be exposed to unconventional, perhaps radical, ways to heal on the soul and cellular level. You will watch as a dying soul is revived and brought back to life, ready to transform and take life to a higher level.
Actually, even though the events happened in my life, this is really your story too. Notice what parts you identify with and take comfort that you are no longer alone. Know that someone understands what your pain feels like. Take comfort knowing that someone empathizes with your plight.
The human spirit is unstoppable when there is hope. This story is laced with pockets of hope to keep you going. You will see that healing from your deepest, darkest secrets, your most destructive experiences, is possible. You will understand that fortitude and clarity turns dreams into reality.
Notice the feelings of transmuting self-sabotage into beauty that radiates out to all those you touch. You will understand that My Truth is Your Truth…That you are worthy of your greatest dreams, endless love and that you matter. Best of all, the negativity - the lies and betrayal - that created your level of dis-ease is healable when you are ready.
Yes, you can heal the festered wounds of betrayal. You can let go of the rage, hatred, resentment and shame….regardless of the depths of your suffering. Age doesn’t matter either. You’re never too old or too young to let go and feel better. Yes, you can mend your shattered heart and soul. Yes, you can transform your life and BE HAPPY beyond your wildest dreams.
Sometimes healing is fast and simple. Other times it’s like riding a roller coaster on steroids. Sometimes you have to crack the wound wide open, peel back the layers and dig deep. Then stitch yourself back up. Sometimes it’s scary and overwhelming. But unleashing the buried torment is always worth the time and effort.
My story is your story because we share the human experience. Perhaps your details and events are more severe than mine. Hopefully not… May this time of sharing bring you peace knowing someone understands you if you feel lost and alone…encouragement in searching for your own inner love and peace. And the endurance to never, ever, ever give up. Stay focused and you will find what you seek.
Healing starts with awareness, desire and action. The next level is forgiveness, gratitude and love. Then you have what your soul yearns for…Lives for….Freedom!
Because of the trauma I experienced and determination to heal, I became a powerful energy/holistic healer. People come to me because they know they are safe with their deepest, darkest secrets. They know that I hold sacred space with them and respect where they are in their healing journey, who they are, and hold their hand every step of the way. People thank me for helping them change their life. They are grateful that they had the courage to take action and ask for help. I am also a certified Wellness coach and Certified Master Spiritual coach, and motivational speaker.
It’s my goal to bring awareness to the greatness inside you. It’s okay if you feel resistance or fear to change. That’s normal. You’ve lived with pain for so long that it is a familiar part of who you are. Perhaps even a vital part of your identity. Stepping out from behind the shadows and saying, “Hey! Stop the madness!” will come when you’re ready.
Living a busy life, juggling kids, work and family expectations might not leave much time or energy for you. Life is chaotic. However, I invite you, dear friend, to take a deep breath, ask your heart and soul what she/he needs for expansion. Listen and follow your inner calling.
I hope to encourage you to live life large, with gusto and as the expansive, magnificent Being that you are. It’s time for you to speak up and let your silenced voice be heard. When you are ready, I’d be honored to be your mentor and help you transform your life. You can count on me to hold your hand and guide you along the way.
Are you ready to step outside your comfort zone and onto the platform of a magnificent, elevated life? Are you ready to reclaim your power? Be unstoppable and soar to great heights? If so, declare today as your day of shedding the scars and wounds of the past. And start living! Let’s hold hands and dive right in. At the end of this book, you will find helpful tools to get you started letting go and transitioning.
As you will see, the names of the people in this book are replaced by the role they played. A few of the locations are changed too. This is done to protect privacy. Some of the events are not necessarily the main focus, but rather what I learned from the experiences and how they affected my mental and physical health.
This is not a “Tell-All” of who did what to wrong me. Instead, this is our story of gratitude, self-discovery and finally opening up to self-love, and being unbelievably happy, healed and alive…against the odds.
Always remember this…If I can do it…you can do it too!
Love,
Wendy Lee Baldwin
“Wendy Lee Baldwin is a courageous, authentic woman and healing facilitator. She exposes the extreme agony of the making of herself and her gifts that she shares from the heart. She also reveals the shadow side that is our formidable enemy and what often molds us. By being so naked in her truth, she gives hope to others. We can survive and thrive! Wendy’s choice to be of service in bringing healing gifts to others is revealing of the Spirit of the Divine within her and her acknowledging the Divine in all of us.”
Joseph Petroski - Healing Facilitator at Divine Alignment Protocol
“Think you are alone and that no one understands your trauma? Know this…Wendy Lee Baldwin does. Let her help you help yourself.”
Al Harrington – “Ben” Hawaii Five-O
“This book is for anyone who wants to transform their life and feel ALIVE!”
Autumn Shields - Author of Living Your Life Alive
“Everyone has a secret. Maybe even a closetful. Healing Your Soul In A Chaotic World: Defying the Odds of Sanity and Survival will help you open up and start healing your painful past.”
Jessica Wood, LMHC, NCC – Author of Reversing Your Child’s Eating Disorder